Work and Fatherhood: A Two Year Reflection – Part 1 of 2
Fathersaurus Timestamp: It is 11:02 PM on 1/17.
TRex is fast asleep; birthdays are exhausting, as is the poor decision to wake up at 5:30 AM. As I sit here on the sofa, I’m debating whether or not to open my work computer up. Balancing work and fatherhood isn’t easy. There’s lots to do [always], but I don’t really want to work right now. The day’s been long; again, birthdays are exhausting, as is the poor decision to wake up at 5:30 AM. Thankfully my decision is made for me. Battery’s dead. Problem solved.
Two years ago a dead battery probably wouldn’t have stopped me from working. Instead, I would have:
- Grumpily searched for my one of many power adapters [why I have more power bricks/adapters than I do computers, I have no clue]
- Waited annoyingly for my OS to load
- Clicked refresh a bunch of times on my email client
- Impatiently began reading email on my phone
- Wondered why my coworker sent me a bunch of vague/non-specific emails that contained the following Shakespearean prose: “Why are we doing this?” or “Is this done?”.
Thankfully today I no longer have to deal with such eloquent compositions. Nor do I currently have any urgent deadlines, and thus can time-afford the option of ‘not working’ tonight.
Two-years-in-the-past-me would have also felt guilty for not having the energy/desire to do work. “Suck it up and power through”, I’d tell myself. However, after about 6-8 weeks of “toughing it out”, this “toughness” really began to take a toll on both my parenting and my marriage. Losing patience with two-month old TRex, fighting with Mothersaurus, it was bad times. All this for what? To keep some incompetent colleagues happy?